Pinch runner(s)!? Are you FUCKING INSANE?! Just put the lead off batter that inning on second you madman.

Obligatory:

I don’t know about the disposable Dorco stuff, but I use a safety razor, and whenever I want to slash my face into a horror movie mess (in case Obama throws me into a FEMA camp and then wants to parade me around on his propaganda TeeVee channel) I always load up a Dorco.

I don’t know about the disposable Dorco stuff, but I use a safety razor, and whenever I want to slash my face into a…

I once smashed a line drive into the nuts of a friend of mine during a beer softball league. He literally lost a nut. Gave zero fucks.

Lebron is 31 years old.

I give zero fucks if some other poster already said this...all you sad sacks step away from the trophy, it motherfucking goes to the 2005 Seattle Seahawks, who got screwed out of the Super Bowl by Rothlesburger’s dad, who was apparently reffing that day when they called holding on Matt Hasselbeck (replay showed he…

Just another good reason to amend the 8th Amendment to remove “cruel and unusual punishment”.

Living up to your handle-you’re doing it right.

On an unrelated note, thanks for making me look up John Rawls you bastard! Now I’ll never get back the four hours of into-the-matrix Rawls research I’m about to burn through in the internets...

The Trey Gowdy of the 90's, who blew through taxpayer money like paper towels while working for a philanderer to catch another, somewhat more charming philanderer in a lie, isn’t an above-board kind of guy?

Dude I’m late to the game and have no beef.

lolz I’m pretty sure Denton is purposely hiding comments from me until I say something n00bish, then he let’s them show so everyone can laugh at me.

Well I’m certainly not a legal expert and will take your word for it. My sitch was nearly 20 years ago and in Ohio.

I swear officer, that damning evidence was not there when I committed the crime!

Not too rain on your parade too hard, but temporary restraining orders are in fact issued on the flimsiest of evidence if any. Permanent R.O.s are what you’re thinking of.

I’ll probably catch shit for this, but sorry Amber, not buying it. This is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too contrived and convenient to her needing to suck Johnny dry due to the fact that no human director will ever hire her again and her sugar daddy has grown weary of her company.

You people couldn’t work “hemorrhaging” into your puns?!?

Shoe dove

Shoulder

Heil Hitler=HH=H is the 8th letter off the alphabet=88=Heil Hitler.