I CANNOT WAIT. Willing to bet that between the two of them, not one complete grammatically correct sentence will be spoken today.

Is anyone else excited that Bible Spice might be endorsing Trump today? This GOP primary is the shit show we deserve. Watching them burn their party to the ground is more satisfying than watching Obama beat them twice.

Chering is caring.

I’m not a “girls,” I am a woman. One. I speak for myself, and the trees when the Lorax called in sick, but mostly just myself. I didn’t say a damned thing about John Lennon. And you have no idea what I think about John Lennon.

I imagine that people felt like I did in 1985 when Duran Duran went on that long hiatus.

But if I don’t take the lump sum I cant do stupid things with the money.

As someone who did once have an intruder break into my home - while I was there and asleep - I can tell you from experience that there’s probably only a small chance a gun would really help you in that scenario. The criminal has all the advantage there - they know they’re breaking into your house way before you do,…

So I - a person who doesn’t worry about intruders barging into her home and doesn’t keep herself armed at all times so that she can take down the bad guys - am the fearful one? WHO KNEW?

I sent this to my mom and asked her if she’d do this for me. She laughed and said, “No fucking way.” She’s not a cusser.

My New Year’s resolution: Every time I see Donald Trump’s name skip over the story unless it’s preceded by “the late...”

Whenever I check in with the gun-toting nuts on my Facebook feed, their posts are all centered around the idea that gun owners are extremely responsible and competent individuals. After all, they know the technical difference between a rifle and and assault rifle, so only their opinions are valid, right? They know how…

Moo-land Labe

It’s a perfectly cromulent word.

You don’t put lemon in guac anyway unless you don’t have lime. Not having any acid is a huge mistake though; it’s absolutely necessary to cut the heaviness of the avocado.

I still don’t understand on asking and/or bribing women you meet to send nude picks. When I want to see naked women, I fire up the old internet and look at pictures of them. I don’t need to harass women to send me pics. The internet is literally full of nude pictures of women. I am pretty sure that is why it was…

You wanna talk about HGTV magic? See what Chip and Joanna Gaines do on Fixer Upper. I know it’s not the same premise as HH, but you get to see house hungtin and a final product (which we all know isn’t always guaranteed on HH). And Chip and Jo and there kids are cute (almost too cute).

You could have a party, and call it La Fiesta de Trumpiñata, and it’d be HUUUUGE.

Trump is like a sentient Onion article that doesn’t realize it was born in satire.

I’m more interested in how the hippos fit in.

This song was my worst song of 2015. Hands down. Probably because I heard it 5 times a day, the lyrics are stupid, and something about it was like, not asloud or fast as it should have been for me?