I think (and I may be wrong) that the local officials have to request the aid; the feds can’t just jump in. For instance, when a weather emergency happens (tornado, hurricane) FEMA doesn’t just jump in their vehicles and head out. They have to be requested.

There’s currently a discussion on my neighborhood’s social media page about kids ding dong ditching (ringing the doorbell and running). Now, the kids HAVE been doing it at ungodly hours and I get that that is extremely annoying. I understand the complaints about it. But, what I can not understand is the people who, in…

Wrong. Apparently I am “woke af”. Look at me, all woke and stuff.

And cute hair.

She looks a lot better with this pregnancy than with the DWTS pregnancy ( a whole different Bristol Palin pregnancy conspiracy theory).

My signature is atrocious and easily forgeable (It’s essentially a squiggly line). My kids are in high school and started signing their forms themselves in middle school. They’re good kids and I trust them so it’s no big deal. I’m actually surprised on the odd occasion when they bring me something to sign.

Might I offer you a quaalude with that?

Yes! This one and that Weeknd song where he can’t feel his face and I wonder why no one has suggested perhaps he has neurological issues were everywhere this year and I. Hated. Them.

Like, do they not understand how DEATH works?

“Just throw them in the dumpster behind the Starbucks and get me a venti mocha latte.”

Oh FFS.

He makes it sound like PP is throwing fetuses into garbage bags, schlepping them out to the bed of an employee’s pickup truck and making a trash run out to the dump.

The Trader Joe ones are outstanding.

I saw one of these featured somewhere that I can not remember - Martha Stewart? Williams Sonoma?. Anyway, I thought I would get it for my husband, he who eats cake or pie every night before bed, as a gag gift. Then I saw it was over $300 and decided nope.

I also wonder why no one ever brings up the foreign policy implications of clean energy. The vast majority of our foreign policy is driven by the need to have access to oil. Wars, alliances with unsavory dictators, etc. All driven by the need for oil. Get rid of that need and it would be interesting to see if we…

“Busy outdoing each other” or busy out doing each other??

Seriously. Cruz has such a likeabilty problem that virtually everyone who has ever had to deal with him, in his whole life, HATES him.

Oh hey...is this where the word “loo” comes from?

Yeah, because none of those brown people are ever American citizens.