How do you get them to not smell like a cross between old sweat socks and farts? Seriously, whenever I smell Brussels sprouts cooking, I lose my appetite.

Nike should give Michael J. Fox the first pair of shoes off the assembly line.

I used to get the same shpiel from my Hebrew school teachers, and I never bought any of it. At least not after I was about 8 years old and figured out that the Bogeyman, Tooth Fairy, and flying monkeys aren't real.

The only problem with that Helix cork is that it rewrites your DNA and turns you into some kind of zombie. Other than that, it's a great idea.

Giraffes don't have the ability to speak. I wonder if it's because that nerve is so long, the signals can't make it all the way.

The article says that you burn fat even by growing hair, but I don't know. Considering how much hair I've lost, I should be a lot thinner.

Calculating a car loan in your head is hard, but that's why there's Excel. Use the =PMT function to calculate your monthly payment amount, then add up total interest paid.

If the nucleus of an atom were the size of a pinhead, the atom itself (to the outer shell of the electron cloud) would be the size of a football stadium. So most matter consists of empty space.

Just LOOKING at these pictures makes my legs go wibbly-wobbly.

Leaving Earth. Nobody left to exterminate.

In 1979, when I was a college student spending a semester in Israel, which is hot, arid and dusty, one day I was going down the hallway of the dorm to the showers for my 3rd of the day. An Israeli student said to me, "What is it with you Americans? Do you have to shower every day?"

Speaking slowly and loudly doesn't work?

How is he going to run in those Doc Martens when the bad guys are chasing him? He'll wish he had Ten's sand shoes.

Run away from Chrome Remote Desktop. Run away! On all every host that I set up (at different locations and at different times), it worked great for a few days, then stopped. All remote machines started throwing inscrutable network errors, and the only fix was to uninstall the app. A Google search showed that many…

Was Bottom the Weaver played by Jar Jar Binks or the great Geoffrey Palmer?

Sorry to nitpick, but this is one of my peeves: the plural of "incident" is "incidents". "Incidences" is the plural of "incidence", which is the rate of occurrence, not the number of them.

Years ago, I pictured Ray Liotta playing Eddie Dean. He's too old for that part now, so I was thinking James Franco.

Yeah, I agree with Chris: the page code is mostly cross-platform compatible, but not 100%. (I just had to take another bathroom break.)

DOWNLOADING. What I'd really like to see is some of the cast members playing this.

DOWNLOADING. What I'd really like to see is some of the cast members playing this.