As someone who hires and fires people, that question would make me assume there was something wrong with your qualifications and I just missed it. If you’ve gotten far enough that you’re getting interviewed, and there’s something I think is iffy on your resume, I’m going to ask you about it at the interview. If I…

Now that this story is public, he’ll never ketchup in the polls.

but J Cole went platinum with no features.... why wouldn’t you want to watch him perform?

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

How could you forget touch lamps?

Equally amazing in Superbad. Kudos, you do good work.

I enjoy your work on Brooklynn 99.

MacKinnon gettin’ everyone all kinds of pregnant. 

Torts is I guess the best option for an American coach, but has been on such a downslide ever since he got the boot from the Rangers.

There were a lot of questionable calls on the team. Torts is I guess the best option for an American coach, but has been on such a downslide ever since he got the boot from the Rangers. Maybe that’s why Dubinsky was on the team? Because I can’t see any other reason. Still can’t believe Kessel wasn’t on the team. …

Carson Wentz will win Super Bowl MVP this year, fuck you.

In a short tournament like this any goalie can get hot and lose to Canada in the final.

Man, that’s a good way to get yourself Siouxed.

5. Collect underpants

Uh, are you saying you were involved ?

The day Deadspin doesn’t run tabloid shit is the day we all quit and get jobs as brand consultants or baristas or whatever.

He goes back into the draft next year, and the Chargers will be prohibited from picking him again.

didn’t you read the headline? it’s sports

...I think you might want to see a podiatrist.