So I guess my "Fuck Me in The Ass Brother Michael" G-String won't be welcome?

Somewhere in Seattle a thousand Sonic fans just cancelled their subscription to O Magazine.

This isn't a Constitution. There's no mention of Jesus Christ.
- Twitter.

Damn.

I know how but I do not know why I pull the trigger.

IDEA: A WEST WING SPIN-OFF BUT WITH RAVENS.

Looks like I can't *cough cough* hack it.

St. Peter: Jesus Christ, Right Hand of the Father, Blood of the Lamb, and Forgiver of Sins, I would like you to meet your biggest fan, Colton Burpo. He's been here before. But now he's here for good. *whispers* He and his parents were killed in a car crash.

*Jesus chokes on bong hit and spits fetid bongwater all over…

pssst - I have a penis.

ed: i was just trying to head of what 99% of the comments would be once everyone pulled their tongues off the floor. because god.damn. those be muscles.

ed (again): not that the complaints aren't valid, turnabout is fair play, how do you like dem apples, shoe / foot, etc.

Don't trust him. It's all a lie.

HOW DARE YOU TAKE AWAY MY WHITE RIGHTS?!?

Whoever has the gold makes the rules?

Men: Now us men can feel insecure too! Score one for the patriarchy!

Women: Yeah, bitches! Welcome to the party.

Men: Uhh, we were being sarcastic ...

Women: Look, motherfuckers. We've been dealing with this shit, like, forever. We're too tired to be sarcastic. We have no pity left. Now push-ups and crunches and toes…

The contradictory assumptions that we're all pasty and weak yet somehow villainous and predatory at the same time.

Oh, sure.

A cat misplaces it's kids and no harm no foul.

I misplace my kids and it's 4 years on probation and a divorce.

I've read your comment 10x now and I'm still all, "wut?".

I should really stop putting weed treats in my protein shake before work.

#JonBonesJonesDontLikeBrosBonesInJones

I grew up in the days of AOL and internet anonymity. The, literal, criminal shit my friends and I used to get up for shits and giggles would have landed my ass in jail in 2014. Why? Because our dumbasses woulda posted something about it.

Counterpoint:

Bindi + Mushrooms + Coldplay = The Zenith American Spiritual Development

Your move, Isha.