Perfect metaphor for America right now. Nobody but a fucking asshole wants the president we have, and nobody but a fucking asshole wants to see this team in another Super Bowl. Just one more thing to endure.

He had a medical butt redshirt last year. 

“Now let me get to my OTHER point, Max.

I would love for him to come back for no other reason than to have my son see him play. He has never watched him but somehow believes he is the best player ever. I’m not saying I want my kids dreams crushed but I’m not saying I don't either. 

which is a different thing that is not racism

Hmm. When not one single snarky A.V. Club comment succeeds in making me laugh— yes, I do start to get sentimental for the guy who married Not Amy Adams. (Oh, and The Dictator? It didn’t suck--- sorry, Rogen/Franco fanatics.)

Golden State has managed to turn what could have been the coolest dynasty into the dweebiest thing imaginable. They play a fun version of basketball, are legitimately great, and their old fans supported them through decades of shit. They should be cool.

Why would anyone invest any time and energy into the NBA next season, unless you hate yourself.

The Warriors blowing a 3-1 lead will always, always be funny. I’m ungreying this just so we can laugh at it again.

with a gun

Maybe it’s because I grew up watching them, but damn do I miss players like Dirk or Paul Pierce who got their rings by sticking with their teams, grinding out every season and eventually getting a decent enough team around them to win it all. This new era where stars take their talent to places it’s not needed to get…

The good news is pretty soon it’ll only take one plane crash to restore parity to the NBA.

Deadspin shits on Clay Travis every chance they get.

I can’t be the only one jacking off to this, can I?

Sadly, now it’s called the G-League.

So many words to show your entire asshole.

I really like the way Kevin handled himself. He is a great person and a great leader. #RealMVP

Did you really think anything about this motherfucker would ever not be weird?

The idea that it’s “offensive” to suggest we might see our preferred cultural targets as anything less than one-dimensional monsters is a reminder that when people say they like art that’s “challenging” and “subversive”, they don’t really mean it.

Are you also silly enough of a grey to say the Dolphins should be the AFC East champs?