Not only is she a girl, her fucking name is Scout. SCOUT!!!!!

Your 10 year old is not a millennial. We’re like fucking 30 now dude.

The sun was brighter. The grass was greener. Food tasted better.

You live in fucking Canada, bud. Why do you care where the Chargers play?

Dodgers games: 99.9% apathetic fair-weather-fans who just go to games to take an Instagram pic, 0.1% maniacal knife-wielding gang members who want to literally murder you.

Eagles fan here. May I just say... fuck you.

Is that seriously your take on this?

Yeah, what a heads up play.

But according to The Root, we’re supposed to be rooting for Mayweather because McGregor is a racist. What do we do now?

Certainly not any of his girlfriends.

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

You are aware that boxers are commonly referred to as “fighters” and a boxing match is typically referred to as a “fight,” correct? And even technical or defensive boxers are known as “technical fighters” or “defensive fighters.” And he’s 49-0. If Laura had called him one of the greatest knockout artists or sluggers,…

It will go down as a foul ball, but that was almost a sack fly.

These layoff announcements are getting more and more sudden.

How would Nikki Haley have any idea what Donald Trump will or won’t do in response to anything? He has no set policy on any subject, and he’ll dither between two (or more) contradictory statements before blaming his underlings and the press.

I thought the Browns had a pretty damn good draft (at least on paper) and are set up well to have another high draft pick next year to either get a QB, or use to further deepen their roster and sign someone like Kirk Cousins or Garropolo in free agency.

I, for one, am just glad we still have the CIA to defend our interests in democratic institutions and ideals at home and abroad.

“Hockey isn’t your thing.”

Imagine a player with the head of a very smart kind of elephant and the body of, well, also an elephant but FAST! Now imagine a man who is half goat and he has hooks for hands. That’s crazy! Why not? Why can’t I have hooks for hands and live in the sewer? I’m just saying there’s no real reason why not. Cam Newton. Tom…

“The voice of the average, blue-collar American isn’t necessarily represented in Hollywood.”