My favorite part is the lackadaisical roll down the hill.

This is basically the bizarro version of George Costanza strolling back into his old office after quitting.

He’s not a real New Yorker until he watches someone defecate into a plastic bag on the G train with a disinterested look on his face.

Well maybe don't lose next time ya idjits.

Man I can’t wait for Simmons to REALLY skewer LeBron on his highly rated HBO show.

Best line EVER.

I tell ya, golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate.

“Hey honey you’d tell me immediately if my clothing reeked of cat piss, right?”

Hah if it had been a white guy, he’d still be on the lam.

How do you think rich people stay rich? By being rich pricks.

“It’s hard to imagine a more harrowing scene.”

Remember when the FBI tried to blackmail MLK into committing suicide? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Gee it’s totally shocking that a minority trying to fight against centuries of oppression might be deemed “controversial” by a bunch of white assholes.

Benjamin Dreyer is 10,000% a virgin.

Even Tom Price called that blatantly illegal traveling.

“Personally, I blame the Shulas.”

Shut up, nerd.

Update: the company is Texas Prisoner Transport Services, according to police.

“We stand with any employee trying to take a vacation and avoid doing boring, pointless work...”