On the other hand, I’ve had ‘Tom Sawyer’ stuck in my head for the past two weeks...

Everything is dead at Tesla with Elon Musk name on it. I’d rather drive an 1959 Edsel.

That looks more like a phishing vessel.

I didn’t think the leopard would eat *MY* face!

Speed holes, probably

Oh come on. We already know who DB Cooper was...

“Wicked bad luck at work today.  Joey was trying to bang a U-ey and this fricking guy just pulls right out in front of him.”

I just assumed there was a $50 bill taped to each bottle.

I think the value includes a gold plated custom trailer. Perhaps with an original Warhol painting on the side.

Must not have been driving 55.

So, a million bottles, then?

Is that the value based on what they try to sell it for, or what it’s actually worth?

And when it sinks under very mysterious circumstances, I’m sure Mr. Quadrozzi will have a sizeable insurance payout....

“John Quadrozzi Jr” is just so goddam perfect. I don’t know what’s gonna happen here, but I bet it’s gonna be funny. Y’know, in a botched business venture by Chris Moltisanti kinda way. 

“Brooklyn Concrete Magnate”

Despite what Trump and Fox News reports, oil production has only gone up in the past 4 years. Nothing is getting shut down.

Nooooo! Kum & Go was the only thing that made the endlessly boring and miserable drives through Iowa enjoyable.

To be fair, I may trade alien tech for a really solid chili recipe.  Bean-free of course. 

Exactly. A friend of mine, who was special forces and involved in all kinds of kinds of crazy stuff, once told me “The U.S. Government couldn’t keep a chili recipe a secret”. So to think that all those thousands of people purportedly involved in this stuff over the decades — and their spouses, kids, and our foreign…

THEY’RE ALL IN IT AGAINST US!!!11!!!ELEVENTY!!!!