YES! My husband understands the tweezers hierarchy as:
1. The GOOD tweezers. MY tweezers. They were hand milled in England and were designed to put together dollhouse miniatures. I won’t even tell him where they are.
2. The back-up good tweezers that have been lost for 6 months but I still hold out hope they can be…

I’d take it even further and say it would be like her taking his razor and using it to de-fuzz the towels. Just like, WTF are doing!?!?!

I think you mean Italian and PARIS.

“I cry about it on the daily,”she claimed.

The Latino delegation passes as well, and are announcing a trade: The chick at the Supreme Court hearing throwing up the white power signs, who is actually Mexican, officially now belongs to the burnt sneakers delegation.

It’s a yearly thing! Here’s last year’s:

If Drew does the writing, I will read Jezspin every day if it becomes a regular thing.  Which it totally should.

I kind of want him to review the Swiss Colony holiday catalog, but he might not survive.

Hey, the black delegation passes on White Grimace.

Whenever I see a Tory Burch item on sale at Nordstrom’s Rack, I’ll reach for it, but think “Will I look like a person who got this purse not because it’s cute or stylish, but, purely, because it’s TB on sale?” then immediately put it down. It’s a neon marker of “I’m not good with money because I put my last dollars…

Right- these aren’t Hermès scarves, which are made in an incredibly time-consuming way from silk woven in France, so the price tag seems reasonable compared to how much skilled work goes into them. I get that people aren’t used to paying for quality (which is why most clothing you buy isn’t going to survive more than…

Yeah, I think it’s capitalism in a nutshell: take something courageous and righteous, and find a way to package that courageousness and righteousness into an easy-to-purchase, endlessly-merchandisable plastic lunch box. Because it’s a lot easier to buy the lunch box than it is to be courageous and righteous.

I was just going to say...can we just skip the NFL this year and go straight to Williams-Sonoma? 

I was hoping that the flame would follow the fuel stream and burn dumb Kyla Jones’ hand.

So this must be the fashion version of justifying the Alex Smith contract.

Here in the Midwest a growing and disturbing trend is to put your flag on a small flagpole, then somehow attach it to the outside corner of your pickup truck’s bed (natch) and drive it around everywhere while it becomes ratty and discolored. REZPEK THE FLAG, LIBTADRS.

He likes football as a friend but doesn’t LIKE-like it, you know? Like, he doesn’t want to go with football to Kaitlyn-with-a-K’s party because he’s going with Catelynn-with-a-C, but he’s not going to be mad if he sees football there, he hopes they can be chill. 

Your Customers: 40ish-year-old women who own a Chevy Tahoe and drive it right down the center of ANY two-lane driveway.

I think, between this and the annual Williams-Sonoma catalog review, we have learned that Drew needs to do more catalog reviews.

I’m guessing Cardi B. would give you $30 to get out of the house for a couple hours right now.