I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Taylor Swift in the MLB record books, but "most hits in Minute Maid Park history" probably shouldn't be overlooked.

Ranking of events resulting in a rescheduling of the Taylor Swift 1989 concert:

Pretty sure that date will be a blank space on their calendar. Pencil her in.

I'm sure if this does happen that she'll just shake it off.

I don't know. The Astros were a pretty good team in 1989.

"Is that how law works? Somebody clue me in, here. Can I just go around fining people for shit?"

Why did your law school turn out so many Chinese restaurant founders?

I went to law school with 100 people like this. Don't go to law school.

as the Jeopardy! music played (that's not how Jeopardy! works)

Excellent username/comment combination.

Milk snake? In Saskatchewan? Someone didn't pay attention in Biology. Specifically the part of the year, (I believe it was third semster, Grade 11) where they discussed snakes that are indigenous to North America. HAD you been paying attention to this particular lesson plan, and not oggling the shirt off of Pam…

Yeah, that customer was a complete jackass, but the barista came across as a massive hipster douchebag.

For the mouth part of your face.

Several jobs ago, I ordered a sushi appetizer at a nice company dinner. The president/CEO's secretary (who I later learned was having an affair with him) was a woman of extremely limited education and experience, and she was hyper-aware of this fact and constantly paranoid that other people were making fun of her. She…

Does it have to be restaurants? Cuz I got 20+ years of retail horror stories... (the tropical cockroach infestation in the bakery section of a department store is food related I suppose...)

Put these breadsticks inside of you until you can't do that thing anymore.

Jesus... can we start a kickstarter or something for Dora? That woman is a saint!

Worth noting the right-side blocker who let Bolden through: "GODDAMMIT DONALD" Brown. Because of course.

Goddamnit, Donald!

What this person does not realize is that Comcast just plain doesn't give a shit.