His dick on his couch at home for the rest of his career I hope. Seriously, fuck any team who signs this guy.

Definitely the odds. Or a dead horse.

"It's hard to imagine any team picking him up this late in the season, or ever again for that matter."

It's hard to imagine any team picking him up this late in the season, or ever again for that matter.

You know, most of us don't have to specifically plan to not ram into other men's butts.

RYAN: Mike... I just wanted to tell you, up-front, that I don't agree with this decision. But it's time for you to pass the torch.

Yes! I almost got closed out of EWR, but my girlfriend, who was picking me up, actually lived closer to PHL. Alas, I still made it to EWR. But these things work!

Or, possibly flying to a slightly further airport could get you there sooner. If SFO is having issues, try getting to Oakland or San Jose. Something like that.

People keep minimizing the severity of these injuries, but that's not the fucking point. You know what I see? I see proof that a police officer that WAS. FUCKING. ATTACKED.

Not only did the UNC players cause damage, they also picked up 3 credits for an art class.

haha yeah I'm not pulling the Lambo like in dumb and dumber, but I was thinking a seven series or something says good money.

On the other hand a Tesla would be sick

oh yeah, except for the money thing. I was thinking of renting a very nice car for the night...

If you're like me and didn't get hot until AFTER high school, then yes, yes it is important

As a member of the Class of '82, I strolled over the Class of '87's tent to see what was going on [ i.e. pick up a chick ]. I was extremely successful in my venture until I learned the next morning she actually worked at the school and had to get there early to cut the lawns....

Let this be a warning to all adult NFL hecklers. Stick to the ESPN.com comment section if you want to keep your caps on.

Ugh, torn. Off to the store to buy World Series champagne but also finding a hole in the sand to bury my head in to avoid the Yankee fan calls for hypocrisy.

Holy crap, I'm a Deadspin gif. And I can assure you, we get this excited any time we manage not to blow a game like that. Because we're N.C. State.

Kindly remove your tin foil hat, and exit stage left. :)

Im a de-icer AMA :)

Punting is okay, but it's hard.