Now, as to whether anyone will HAVE him...

I hate myself that I starred this, but I did it anyway.

First question Greg Maddux would ask every season would be, “Who’s my catcher?” Because Javier Lopez never could keep up with him mentally.

As a recent job-hunter, you forgot to mention, “Oh, and we’ll ask for your resume, but then force you to fill out your employment/education history online, anyway.”

Objection, facts not in evidence.

Hire me for your assistant, and I’ll take all the day-to-day grunt work off your shoulders.

The first rule of nicknames: Never let the taunters know the nickname hurts. 

Wikipedia shows Repulski died in 1993. RIP, Rip.

If they both end up with brain damage, will anyone notice?

The R’Skins go through quarterbacks the way other teams go through running backs.

For ducks, what else?

When it comes to branding and marketing, I really DO wish he’d stick to sports.

I’ve been missing “Great Moments in Poop History.”

Was umpiring a slow-pitch softball game in my home town. I was wearing grey slacks. I forget how, but I split the seam in my britches and had to walk to my car. Which was parked on the opposite side of the field. I was wearing red boxers at the time.

Thanks for posting this earlier in the day, Drew. I was afraid I was going to have to do something at work before lunch.

Knowing the vindictive nature of the referees, this is the correct take.

You mean, other than the owners?

Always root for the bull.

Rest in (horse)Power.

“Couldn’t be worse than Blair ‘missed the kick’ Walsh.”
Drew Magary