Done.

Thanks for the imagery. Ew...

Can someone open a deportation case for Melania, pleasepleaseplease?

Welcome back, pod mate!

Even a corpse can beat me if I’m unable to do anything but double-fault every service point.

Worked in VetMed as a computer tech for a couple years. Lived in Ames for 20.

“Close enough.”
--Jeffrey Epstein

Would pay money to watch.

He could honestly be Ted Cruz’s stunt double in Texas.

+1 catfish

Preferably in such a way as to make them a Darwin Award qualifier.

So if we need to issue reparations for slavery, I think I know a place to start hiking the taxes to fund that effort.

As with bullfighting, always cheer for the bulls.

Consider me suitably chastened, thanks for the catch.

Oh, man--I totally blew the chance for that joke. Thanks for cleaning up after me.

“If the second wife had taken her “medicine,” Tiffany wouldn’t be here!”

Came here for the Shaggy Defense, was not disappointed.

I can see a lot of elected officials setting up separate accounts for the office they hold and themselves personally because of stuff like this.

Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibit A as to why mandatory vaccination laws are becoming a reality.

Comment of the year so far.