Milton, laid up in the hospital with a comprehensively busted leg, is reportedly participating in quarterback meetings via video conference.

“Let’s remember some leagues.”
Deadspin, circa 2025

I wanna change my vote.

I wouldn’t mind seeing Shaq clean Barkley’s clock live on teevee.

+1 annoying announcer gimmick.

It’s a gigantic blue button that magically opens a door, Jedi-style.

+1 gut punch. God, that’s wonderhorrible.

“...before returning to his native Canada, his home and native land.”

You know, I’ve been looking to trade in my Pontiac Grand Prix...

GM’s stock price was up 7 percent on the news.

“Josh Lambo Blair would miss(ed) the kick.”

He paid for it once, too. Caught a line drive right in the dick and balls and had to spend time on the disabled list for it. Griffey Junior pranked him on his return by substituting “The Nutcracker” for his usual walk-up music to home plate. 

The last time I went out for St. Patrick’s Day, I was wearing a black shirt and tan pants, to see if anyone got the reference.

This strikes me as a situation where Nissan had better hope the charges stick. Because if it turns out they set him up for something he was NOT guilty of, he could come back at them for wrongful termination. However, I find that unlikely, given that nobody knows the CEO’s perfidy like his/her own accountants.

It’s my greatest fear, and it has been since I was like 13. In my dreams, I am naked in public.

If Muni were still around, that would be a LOT of dead air.

Damn you, now I HAVE to play the video. I’m a masochist.

Best Photoshop since Red-Face Gruden.

In the immortal words of Zaeed Masani, “Burn, you son of a bitch.”

Maryland Football.