That’s ok, but only if they have to call milk “cow boob secretions”.
“As God as my witness, I thought turkey burgers could fry.”
The first time I heard any music from Carmen was in the Gilligan’s Island episode when the musical producer (I want to say it was Phil Silvers?) ended up on the island, and they tried to convince him to rescue them by staging a musical version of Hamlet. Gilligan sang the “to be or not to be” soliloquy to the tune of…
“Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.” ― Jake the Dog
“Break the pasta in half”...that is horrifying. You NEVER break long pasta up, it becomes impossible to eat unless you just shovel it in with all sorts of dangling mess dirtying your face. Long pasta is meant to be twirled around the fork, making a tidy package that collects just the right amount of (proper…
I definitely saw “Mathnet” on Square One years before I ever saw Dragnet.
See also:
Florida: Hold my beer.
Wait till he finds out that the guy fucked his mom too.
We were on a jailbreak!
Oh geez, this is like the John Mulaney bit.
BUY A DEER AND RIDE IT AS A SHOW OF DOMINANCE TO OTHER DEER
Purple Pig+Portillos combo is spectacular, although I might add in a stop by The Little Goat, just for their ridiculous (and reasonably priced!) signature burgers/sundaes. Gonna have to toss in the nuclear missile of one of my three favorite restaurants on the face of the Earth: the magical all-you-can-eat Ukranian…
Obligatory:
Obligatory ‘Friends’ reference to “the moistmaker”
I actually own this shirt:
Years ago I remember seeing Rick Bayless competing on the first season of Top Chef Masters. He won the competition because he saved his Black mole recipe for the grand finale. I’ll never forget how he said in interview that the recipe took him 10 years to perfect and how completely in awe the judges were after eating…
“To celebrate the launch of their new heat-and-serve side dishes, The Honey Baked Ham Company conducted a nationwide survey to determine each state’s favorite Thanksgiving leftover side dish.”
I know exactly who their target audience is!