Last one is signed, “Carroll Shelbaaaaaghhhhhh.”

You sure it’s not a Lincoln?

While you make a compelling argument, my wife was someone’s first love at some point, and I refuse to stop doing terrible, horrible things to her because of that love.

That’s me. What I lack in wit I make up for in inscrutability!

If it’s such a safety concern, why not just reschedule the eclipse to happen at night when there won’t be as many people on the roads?

• if you simply must drive during this celestial event, you can safely look at the eclipse through a moonroof, but not a sunroof.

This isn’t as great as much of these other stories, but I got to say “HAHAHAHA NEYSAYERS!” I didn’t really say that, but metaphorically I did. I worked at a car dealer and everyone around me had new cars.

Seriously. I’m half African-American, half Chinese-Canadian.

hey.... i had one of those when i was little... it had 9 gears a special snow setting and the ability to hashtag way before it was cool

We are Froot.

But Amelias Emails!

Fact: Turbo Teen is the origin story for Pixar’s Cars.

Also, should we discuss why what is apparently a 3rd generation Camaro appears to have a Dana front axle of some sort?

Those neighbors are awfully righteous for people whose fences are made out of dildos.

Ummmm...

Well great! Now I’m going to have to go around Oregon depantsing people just to tell how I should address them! We’ll never know anymore! White and black? Gone! All grey! Up and down? It’s all sea level now! Gospel and blues? Jazz! JAZZ DAMMIT!

Stop trying to distract yourself or make it productive time. Be involved instead. Look out the window and think about your life or what it must be like to live in the place you’re driving through.

I drove from Oklahoma to Alaska and back! Solid axles, Limited slip diffs, and locking transfer case with low range mean you don’t HAVE to keep your road trip on the road.

nothing works when driving to El Paso. What level of insanity you reach is more like it.

As a woman, I find it quite hysterical that men are suddenly walking around feeling that their personal security is so threatened because ISIS.