I keep my mascara for years, and the only eye infection I’ve ever had was toward the end of a six-week trip to Costa Rica on which I didn’t even bring eye makeup. So...not buying the dire warnings.

but does she have a heart of gold? or is it just a normal squishy bloody heart?

It’s true, many people can’t manager their impulses and hear only what they want to hear - so I can see how some people would hear “a small amount of alcohol is fine” and think “I have free license from the CDC to drink as much as I can hold and my baby will be fine, THEY PROMISED.” (I work in customer service and am…

The cult of mommy will not tolerate you doing anything which could even tangentally make you think you’re anything more than a vessel for the continuation of the species. Its not about the .0000000000001% chance that half glass of wine hurts the kid - its about you realizing that your entire existence only has meaning…

I someone ever called me a peach I would rage at them with the fury of a thousand suns.

I actually don’t drink alcohol in general (I despise feeling even slightly tipsy) but I think the rabid shaming of any woman who dares to sip a beer in pregnancy is total moralizing, body-controlling BULLSHIT.

U know like when Colombus “discovered” America?! A place is not a place until white folks show up. Everyone knows that.

Non-white people aren't actually people, obviously.

Whatever happened to classic black?

26 years of life has taught me overt racism is much preferable to the alternative. I’d rather the person let me know not to waste my time in advance instead of grinning through their teeth at me only to eventually let me know how they really think of people who look like me when they get a tad too familiar.

oh god it’s real. I thought it was a silly graphic but it actually fucking looks like that jesus skateboarding christ

Why does Trump’s “I have a great relationship with the blacks” spring to mind? Probably because he said “huge.”

So when I tell you I’m having a fight about white privilege with this man, I’m slightly guilty because I’m moving in to gentrify a neighborhood, except I’m the first one here when nobody wants to live here.

My street cred, especially in the black community, in this city, is huge.

Is it the dancing or the Botox, though?

I hate people.

As beautiful as this is (and it is magical); the idea of a five-year old living in fear of her parents’ deportation is unimaginably sad. Add to this that the majority of Oaxacan adult immigrants (at least where I live) have learned Spanish as a second language. The language of their parents and towns is Maya. That is:…

I wore my mom’s dress from 1985 for my wedding this year and it was fucking fabulous! I did have to remove the poofy sleeves, though.

You are the wrongest anyone has ever been wrong about anything in the history of wrongness. Repent.

I’m just gonna assume this was the mountie who brought the snacks.