Sadly, a minivan is overkill for most people. A 5 seater SUV WAGON works for most people.

“And mama ain’t gonna be bringing little jimmy and the dog to the store in a motorcycle...”

try getting into the 3rd row of a sienna vs a highlander

“I would love to have one....but I refuse to buy one because I only NEED it 1 or 2 times a year. It’s actually far cheaper to rent one than to buy, finance, and insure one.”

Get the van and embrace your hugeness

Sounds like you should own a van.

carbon is making its way into road cars more and more each year as the need to lower the weight in cars increases. Aero is becoming increasingly important as well as manufacturers work to reduce drag to meet efficiency goals.  All these have been in development in F1 for years.

I want a Panda Hemi  Hellcat. FTFY

Sportwagen can handle 2 seats, but it would make the middle seat unusable.  Plenty of room for strollers.  3 series wagen can handle strollers fine.

He can go a tiny bit bigger and get a golf sportwagen, with diesel and a manual. Not quite as fun as the GTI but room for kid shit and 40 mpg.  You can get some suspension mods and go nuts if you’d like

but not manual or wagon...

False, no crossovers are good.  Wagon for life

Jobs already taken:

To be fair the F series has been the best selling vehicle in America for decades.  If you look at the list of best selling cars in america most are shitty cross overs.

“and it sure sounds like the Mustang Mach-E is an electric car that people want.”

Name a baseball team in the world that is better though.