Not only is it super cheap but it comes packaged in a cheap purple felt drawstring bag with gold embroidery on it. So people who dig tabletop gaming often have at least one (scammed from friends who drink if they either don’t or can’t even afford CR) to keep dice in because it looks kind of medieval. (Source: Am a…

I’m not trying to start a religious argument. I’m genuinely curious. What’s up with the one story specifically mentioning that because the coffee shop is in a “Christian suburb,” it’s super busy on Fridays? I was Christian for a long time and honestly can’t think of any way that makes sense. Is this a thing for coffee…

There’s a boutique chocolate shop in a nearby town to me whose owner makes white chocolate bark candy with lavender and lemon zest in it. I couldn’t even bring myself to try it for the longest time, but now I’m totally hooked on it. I don’t actually even generally like white chocolate or lavender-in-food (though I do…

I will say this: eating lots of cheap-ass white bread gives me mad heartburn. But I really don’t think it’s gluten intolerance.

Pretty much. She’s allowed to do whatever she wants with her body, but she put that up for a reason. It did not have the intended effect.

Who gave Madonna a Glasgow smile?

Ten years ago it was “look at this picture of me without makeup on!” from young women who totally had makeup on. Can’t really blame them. They’re being told to be beautiful, but not to spend too much time doing it—and to do it totally without artifice or artistry or else they’re fakes and we can’t have fake beauties…

That shark-eyed little shit can’t even hit the soul-killing bickering stage of a long-term relationship the right way. If it wasn’t for the fact that doing so would expose him to too many innocents, I’d suggest he take kindergarten over again to learn how to human.

Holy shit. I was scrolling down the comments and saw the thumbnail of just the onion ring thingies and thought it was octopus tentacles. Pinkham, the gross-out I just experienced is your fault. YOURS. YOURS.

I’m voting “good joke” but I’m well-known as an optimistic ray of sunshine in a dark and withered Gothic garden.

Maybe, but still, I’m in a state that’s notorious for being very stringent about family court requirements like child support and we still hear about women locally whose babydaddies are skipping out regularly on support and even custody/visitations. I really have no idea how they do it and don’t get arrested. Not that…

I trust you all with this information.

One of the oldest abortion screeds online that I know of is this one: The only moral abortion is my abortion. It’s gone around many times but it’s still a must-read.

In Louisiana, a voucher program started up that allowed the state—under Bobby Jindal’s watch—to fund religious schools that don’t actually adequately educate students. The fundagelicals were OVERJOYED.... until someone pointed out that Muslim schools could take advantage of these vouchers as well. Suddenly the…

I really don’t know how else to tell conservatives and fundagelicals alike that this guy is pandering to them than by pointing out, every chance I get, the utterly painfully-obvious Duper’s Delight expression that he seems to wear 24/7. Dude’s about to orgasm, he’s having so much fun putting one over on his fanbase.…

Clearly you’re losing words and are a prime candidate for this diet plan or whatever it is.

My useless gadgets:

One must admit it’d probably be perfect for heating up just a little cheese dip or something. Sorry, trying to brainstorm here. It’s hard even to imagine who decided this was a product that needed to be manufactured, let alone purchased and given to anybody.

My mom gave me one that churns butter. I do like that, but not enough to use it. It’s been gathering dust for about ten years now. I can’t bring myself to part with it (she’s passed on and you know how it goes like that). This thing looks like a time machine and it freaking CHURNS BUTTER for god’s sake, but I prefer…

Whatever you do end up doing with it, David, just make sure you wash it after rubbing it all over yourself for this long.