God, you just made me miss my great-grandmother so hard it hit me like a boot-kick to the chest in the best possible way. She was such a cackling old bat. She was a First Woman Who Ever Worked in BlahBlah Field (don’t wanna dox myself), drove a red convertible till she broke her hip at around 95, volunteered way…

I only knew a couple of women who wore Shalimar, but apparently they didn’t get the memo because it made them both smell like they lived in a French cathouse and wore way too many red kimonos. It was considered kinda tacky in my neck of the woods. But I believe you: on some women it probably does smell great. I just…

I’ve got so many “collector’s edition” bottles of various Estee Lauder perfumes from my hoarding mother. And a box set of something green that I don’t think was ever opened in her lifetime.

Creed’s rose perfume for me (

Do you suppose a future rant is in store about how fajitas never come with enough tortillas? Because shit, man, that used to eat people up with rage in my old neck of the woods. I was low-carb at the time so they all got my tortillas, but if it hadn’t been for the Designated Tortilla Donater, who even knows what…

In SimCity 2000, I noticed that if one’s city residents didn’t have much to complain about, they’d always default to griping about traffic. This WaPo rant may well be this guy’s version of the traffic complaint.

Yeah, we’ve seen just how much he honors his promises. She can totes trust this man who has repeatedly demonstrated himself to be a filthy fucking liar on multiple occasions. But he promises not to cheat on his wife, so she can be totally sure this time he’s telling the truth.

I wanted to hug Casey, gooey mess and all. Oh, what a ghastly thing to deal with.

Their group name should be “a mackenzie.”

Damn skippy! I don’t happen to remember asking those dipshits for any input.

Here’s another nice bit of news, though it’s kind of old. In my state (Idaho), a super-fast lightning anti-abortion bill was getting voted on without any warning whatsoever and without input from people at all a few years ago. Idaho tends to be pretty goddamned conservative, but even by those standards it was a…

What they really don’t like is unapproved sex—especially when women have it. They want to stop women from having so much unapproved sex. That’s it. That’s all this is about. If they can make sex terrifying and risky enough, women might just stop doing so much of it. Until then, if a woman gets pregnant who doesn’t…

I liken it myself to that super-dangerous time when a woman is walking out the door of the home she once shared with an abusive partner. That’s the time that partner is going to pull out every single stop—unfortunately sometimes also including force—to keep her there. He’s going to sweet-talk her. He’s going to guilt…

I think your dad is completely correct here. It’s not cynical if he’s right and they really are out to get women. Having lost their cultural dominance over women, Catholics particularly are panicking. Protestants joined the fight because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that contraception—being the…

HOORAY! Unexpected and wonderful news!

She is screaming inside, “Oh my god GET THOSE FUCKING GRUBBY PAWS OF YOURS OFF ME, YOU ASSHOLES.” You know she is.

Honestly can’t remember. Might have been. It was HUUUUGE in Houston but the name escapes me.

I think that sounds about right. I graduated in the late 1980s and I got a full and comprehensive education myself in that regard. I have a relative whose daughter just graduated who got the la-la-la-la treatment. Thankfully her mother intervened to ensure that her kid got the info despite the school!

That’s what me and my college mates did. We’d sometimes go out for “dollar fries” at the local greasy spoon (this was in the 80s). We’d get baskets of those fries, sodas, and stay for hours. Another place was a little Mexican joint that had unlimited baskets of chips and salsa and we got our money’s worth of those.…

For many decades now, Texas has been going on the assumption that giving schoolkids information about their bodies will lead to them fucking like bunnies and getting pregnant. By keeping sex utterly mysterious and terrifyingly risky, they’ll stop those crazy kids from fucking.