Uh, Tim, I don't usually like pointing out Deadspin authors' stupidity here, but it's pretty clear the cut man is actually Perez.

Somewhere Chris Kluwe sits watching this on his computer, nodding grimly, ready to eloquently type a comment how this is the perfect metaphor for his time in Minnesota. It will be be perfect, 50, 100, 200 recommendations, the sky's the limit! The world will finally understand the true Chris Kluwe. They will understand.

I certainly admire these men's hard work and long hours, but the capitalist in me just can't find the rationale for donating to their cause. I mean, a couple bucks here, some ice cleats there, suddenly round trip airfare to Russia. Where will it end?

What would it take for you to eat that?

Most of the claims relate to loss of consortium, as the resulting injury has kept him from screwing his patients.

"The total absence of hope, which has nothing to do with despair, a continual refusal, which must not be confused with renouncement - and a conscious dissatisfaction. Carmelo Anthony went 9-for-24 from the field."

Cubs Intern: Ummm Mr. Green, I think there is something you need to see.

I have absolutely *no* sympathy for the fans. They've been advertising for years that they have "no rules" and that's "just right." Well, no more.

I wouldn't have guessed you're a soccer fan.

Tony Bosch: I'm sorry man, I can't do it, needles freak me out too, plus I could have serious problems if I'm linked to this.

"Philip Rivers throws to... who I can only assume is an undrafted rookie from Appalachian State... And INTERCEPTED... by... a guy who probably played in the CFL last year? Maybe? Fuck it."

"It came with the frame"

Picture quality made me think I was watching Atari basketball.

Oooh, look at Mr. 'I Go To Grade School'! Rich people make me sick.

Those poor horses. Already in wheelchairs, and now this.

As further evidence of Musberger trying to sound "hip," Mushnick pointed out that he kept referring to "pop" as "soda" and "negroes" as "people."

Whoever voted for Rogers is playing it close to the vest. I hope they know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

At the end of Le Batard's suspension email, he was told that he had to forward it to at least 50 people, or he'd be killed by a Chupacabra with nunchucks.

But there's no attic to put Hugo in and I already brought a life times supply of Lego fish heads!

Add this, and then we'll talk $200.