On that topic, he’s granted more wishes than anyone else in the history of the Make a Wish Foundation. 

I’m sitting in a hipster coffee shop and John Cena is being super fucking nice to everyone.

Plus, how often do you see an actual terrarium fire? It’s not a realistic thing to worry about.

This is a feature, not a bug.

Not precisely on topic, but the firewall at work is screwing up the rendering of the Simmons gif, causing him to erupt in rapid bursts of flapping followed by long periods of no movement. It looks like he’s trying to fly away, like a Bird

Get out.

once Beilein met with her, he “became determined to recruit her to Cleveland.”

Considering the nature of his injury, I’d say he’s actually veal.

Vlad Guerrero Jr’s Righteous Dong

Thing is, while he’s super red-assed about himself and his own play, he’s not really that way about other players. When Machado injured him he went out of his way to say he thought it was just a baseball play and didn’t require retaliation (his pitchers did it anyway), and note the anecdote above in Roth’s piece where…

This is definitely the second-worst televised “fuck you” San Diego has ever witnessed.

WIFE: Do you want the windows open?
ME: Nah, I’m fine.
WIFE: Okay I’ll open the windows a little.

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.

(Fair enough.)

(I don’t really think he’s an elitist)

(I think that’s the joke).

are you new here?

JBJ has the “Meh, it’s just Wednesday” reaction down pat. Just another day at the office.

I love how he double clutches the ball - while 3 feet off the ground, body and arm hanging into the bullpen....

FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS ILK FOR RUINING THE PUNCHING GAME FOR ALL OF US