*Copyright infringement on #61. Send me royalties ASAP.

Since the game of football has been played has there ever been two receivers of this caliber on the field at the same time?

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort:

What eight-year-old WOULDN'T want a Gary Carter autograph?! That picture will probably look great next to his signed Steve Balboni lithograph.

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Villanova

I can understand his shock. This is probably the first time he's actually heard somebody talk about tennis.

@ClintonPortishead: +1

Now that's change I believe in.

The NYPost reported she's permanently banned from the Yankees clubhouse after she was too drunkenly Gaga around the clubhouse, which included fondling her own boobs and creeping up on Robinson Cano.

This alum's email pales in comparison to what I send the Detroit Lions on a weekly basis during the NFL season.

Izzo flew to Cleveland last Thursday, flew home with a fat offer to join the Cavs, and has sat fingering his pussy ever since, unable or unwilling to decide on the job without some official word from LeBron James.

Never underestimate the power of testosterone. There could be serious consequences

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Hossa made the most money, although we'd have to see how little of that he actually spent to confirm.

*Nobody in the United States will watch soccer, per usual.

The consensus seems to be that a sportsman should ideally compete at the very height of sexual frustration...

@cjvernon.nyc:

He was in the CF bleachers and still got tattooed? A failed attempt at natural selection by the universe as far as I'm concerned.

The boys said that they enjoyed receiving balls from David Wright much more than from their parish priests.

@G.O.B.: Come on!: You know, I never thought of it that way. Anyone have HIS home address?! GET 'IM!