@BruschisBrewsky: +1

Good. Baseball needs less instant replay and more human error! You go, commish!

@Nickly: As long as BP doesn't snatch him up first.

Steve Phillips lost his pork chop when his wife found out about her.

What about 1980?

Always good to see a Spartan moving up the ladder.

Look at the size of that dome! Put a Pittsburgh Pirates hat (size 8 3/4) on him and you've got Barry Bonds pre-juice.

@Zapp Brannigan's Girdle: Put one on each finger. I prefer light lubrication. And please, never use them twice; discard after each reply.

@Kid Canada: D- An altar boy that served under Pope Benedict XVI.

Note to various NBA personnel directors and well-wishers: You know why Mike Brown isn't returning your phone calls? A guy named Rajesh Kumar.

Shuffle your feet or you'll do the stingray hop

@Evil-Jeremy: Perhaps the most well-thought-out, and intellectual post in the history of Deadspin. You'll be banned shortly...

So the Super Bowl is headed to JERSEY in the dead of winter, eh? Looks like we've got ourselves a real (clears throat) "Situation" on our hands.

If you'd like the opportunity to prove your worthiness, today's the day to do it. And don't just hide and wait for a day when I'm not experiencing heavy flow.

Anyone who's seen "Hot Tub Time Machine" knows the effects of a squirrel gone awry...

@Hit Bull Win Steak: A+. I was going to post something about Leyland, but it would've paled in comparison to this.

I was wondering what he was up to these days..

"Sexual congress," you say?

Might as well use the rafters for something. The Rangers/Knicks definitely aren't going to be hanging any championship banners up there any time soon.

@Madison Hedgecock Blocker: +1