If the Punisher ever finds out about Galactus, he's going to get on that rocket voluntarily.

I mean, we've all been to churches, art galleries, palaces, nursing homes etc. I think we all understand the urge to rub your bum on things when you're told expressly not to. But we live in a civilisation, you know?

Whoa, slow down with the legal jargon there, Ally McBeal.

Barsanti, it's people like you who are responsible for my script Batman Vs Howard the Duck gathering dust on a studio shelf somewhere.

Jennifer Lawrence will overcome these legal movie rights quibbles just like she overcame the laws around those sacred rocks in Hawaii.

Leave your CV with Nigel Farage, and he'll be in touch as soon as Britain breaks free from the shackles of Europe and succeeds in reviving her glorious, world-spanning empire.

[Supper Club sheds a silent tear, begins to comfort eat.]

This is why Tatiana Maslany should have played her in The Crown.

I first came across this story in the third book of Jan Morris's excellent Pax Britannica trilogy, which I'd recommend to anyone interested in the subject. She quotes contemporary opinions on Hodgson as 'rotten', 'an egregious ass', and 'no gentleman'. Also, his wife wrote an account of the siege complaining about how…

I'll look out for their vastly superior remake of Warcraft.

Well, 'The Good Wife' is an anagram for 'weighed foot', so I think we can deduct that Hillary is involved in the illegal transplant black market.

"Black guys drive like, 'I sure hope a cop doesn't stop me and shoot me for no reason!' But white guys drive like, 'Woo, I'm driving, not a care in the world!' What is up with that?"

Comedy shows are supposed to be a safe and special space where Americans unite about things like questioning the deal with airline food. Sad!

TO VLADIMIR PUTIN,
I DON'T KNOW YOU, I HAVE NEVER MET YOU, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, AND YOU ARE NOT MY BEST FRIEND.
THANKS.

IT'S NAAHT A TOOMAH, that's just the natural orange colour of his skin.

To quote another Arnie film back at him: "Fuck you, asshole."

My Shakespeare First Folio lets the ladies know I'm the classy type of rich guy, as well as being a sturdy coaster.

Look, let's not gePUTIN BIG DICK NUMBER ONE AMERICA NUMBER TENt paranoid here.

some people think they’ll be able to glean how the president-elect will run the White House based off these ramblings of his riches

But you have to admit, it's such beautiful tanned skin.