You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it.

"Christmas carols should be a special and safe space. Sad!"

'White Christmas' doesn't even need a rewrite. Just imagine it being sung by Steve Bannon.

For law and order, secure borders, and equitable trade deals with our neighbours.

Of the ruling, Polanski’s lawyer Jerzy Stachowicz said “We’re very happy. We hope one day it will be over in the United States.”

Personally, I never really got the Sad Trombone until I heard it performed by the London Philharmonic.

Ironically, the HBO series Vinyl also made music far less pleasurable.

"Everyone's telling me I should be building up a huge pile of gold to sit on in my old age, and I'm like… Ugh."

Pampered Hollywood types. Anything they take three years to produce, Alduin six months.

In the fifth movie the dragon is back living with its parents, hopelessly sending out CVs, and commenting way too much on the AV Club.

Oh, admit it. Any argument in which you get to orotundly accuse the other side of 'petulant histrionics' is, by definition, fun.

Well, we'll workshop the party motto. I realise these are old problems, and the upcoming Generation War has been upcoming for a good long while now, and I think we agree that getting young people engaged in politics is a complicated problem to solve - no-one has come up with a good solution yet. My point is just that…

I agree that you don't get to complain about decisions you opted out of. But for those of us who do participate, surely it should be of interest why so many young people have checked out? It's bigger than personal laziness, or apathy, or whatever millennial cliches the op-ed writers are throwing around these days.…

It's been a vicious circle in recent decades. Generalising here: old people vote, so they get their concerns addressed, so young people feel rightly ignored and don't vote. And mainstream politics was perfectly happy with this youth disengagement and disillusionment while the system was still ticking along nicely.…

Of course it is. But it's meant to raise the issue that with ageing populations, there's the danger of societies becoming gerontocracies, run for and by the old. What do you do about that? Not this, clearly, but it's a real faultline that needs to be addressed.

What can I say? He ran on the Giant Futuristic Floating Platform, and it really spoke to me.

Don't worry. They'll all be off the air as soon as the libel laws are 'tightened up'.

Sorry for your loss. I have friends whose grandparents said they'd vote Remain because their younger family members were asking them to, but it's obviously been really divisive within families all over. The referendum took the existing generation gap, widened it, and pumped it full of sewage and crocodiles.

There's been an unworkable-but-fun electoral thought experiment floating around since the Brexit and Trump votes: why don't we weight people's votes according to how long they'll have to live with the result? Take the national average life expectancy for both genders and apply it ruthlessly across the board. So, your…

If there's one thing to be said for 2016, it's that future history books will have a real no-brainer of a landmark for their 'Decline of the Anglophone World' chapters.