I've only had one girlfriend (out of 5 serious ones) who was really into it. It was awesome. I think the prep work that needs to be done, both by the fucker and the fuckee, can't be stressed enough. In my experience, it was never a spur of the moment thing like when a porn star just says, "I want you to fuck my ass,"…

The anus is loaded with sensitive nerve endings that can feel quite nice when you allow yourself to get past the "that feeling is coming from my butt!" distractions.

did this tonight, kind of. sauteed cauliflower florets until a bit tender, put in half a cup of red wine, salt & pepper, let cook five minutes, put in a few tsp crushed coriander seeds, cooked another couple of minutes. it's a beautiful thing.

But most people are going to add some kind of fat for flavoring to broccoli, whether that's butter or cheese sauce or olive oil. 2 glugs of olive oil to dress 2 heads of broccoli is not exactly decadent.

this is a cooking column — to learn how to make food that tastes good. Cooking without any fat results in lousy tasting food.

Nothing is without risk. At an absolute minimum, any time you puncture the skin there is a risk of infection.

I guess Russell Wilson wasn't the only person who didn't realize that someone in a Marshawn Lynch jersey was right behind them.

Yes actually! This is a topic my editor has already asked me to take on (somewhat at my suggestion, based on some reader Qs I've gotten) so be on the lookout for that. I wanted to space it out a bit from the frat house and wetting the bed Qs so that Ask a Clean Person doesn't turn into too much of a gimmicky space.

2014 hot take: "Sherman should stop his thuggish behavior!"

I'm just saying, it'd make a better halftime show. That's all.

Look, I know you only had 30 seconds, but I really feel as though you didn't spend enough time establishing a believable narrative.

I didn't really care who wins on Sunday, but now I don't think I've ever wanted anything more than for Lynch to score 6 touchdowns, grab his crotch after every one, win the MVP, receive the trophy from Goodell and get interviewed on the podium after. IF THERE'S A JUST GOD THIS WILL HAPPEN.

but what does that make the reporters who insist on continuing to ask him questions despite knowing well ahead of time that Lynch has no intention of answering any of them?

Finally, there's a SILENT killer of children. Usually it's such a noisy process...

They should make them do things that people have to do on other reality shows. I'd totally watch Peyton Manning eat a plate full of bugs while Calvin Johnson cooks bread pudding and JJ Watt tires to prove he's smarter than a 5th grader.

I liked Drew's idea a while back... have the game scored via fantasy points instead of regular points. See how it affects play calling, strategy, etc. since the score is meaningless anyway, and I'll bet just for the novelty of it it'd be the highest rated pro bowl ever.

clearly, Bush should have considered raping some kids in an effort to reduce USC's punishment.

Hot water bath FTW. I use my defrosting bowl more than dang near anything in my kitchen.

In this hypothetical situation, he would totally try to check in the game for his quarterback.

FANCY