It’s not a cuff, it’s a medical brace from too much masturbating.

It’s the poor models I feel sorry for, enduring those unblinking, virginal stares.

That one will need a high security bathtub, rather than a cell.

More than one person has noted that, then received a scar in the pattern of a Maglite torch being applied to the head at great speed, but it’s for sure better than being shot...

Aw shit, I was hoping one of the io9 brains had invented a time machine and gone back and eradicated the fucker

See? You just want to stroke it!

I’m sending her a duck pick. She looks like the smart kind of person who would appreciate a duck’s attitude.

A woman needs a man like a fish needs another fish on a bike to keep bumping into it

I refuse to believe Andy Cohen was not involved.

87,000 people - some of them perhaps even real - are liking this in all its versatile awfulness. I have lived too long.

If it makes the maroon who’s been driving slowly round the same few blocks in Brooklyn in his Escalade for the past hour, go home, that’ll be nice.

This is tasteless and I care for it a lot. My infantile friends saw that image and now they’re all screaming in unison. Thanks, Deadspin.

Donald should BE so lucky to be a cat’s ass!

By happy coincidence, the American people also want you to spend as much time as possible with your husband.

It’s during a full moon: he’s a were-cat’s-ass

Well, I was jizz asking ....

But did it fix her shoulder?