Why? Most 26 year olds still have their teeth.

I was not expecting that man to have so many teeth. 

HUZZAH!

And it can even lead to a presidency.

Of course they’re not going to let him play with the same helmet he’s played in his whole career. A Steelers helmet would look stupid with a Raiders uniform.

Hey man, they suspended Incognito for the first two games. 

It’s Philly.  If these people stopped to help every drunk with a nosebleed they’ll never make it home.  

Fitting that the Philly enforcer in orange and black ended his fight by yanking his opponent’s jersey over his head.

Smart people land in swamps.

CafePress has always been the best place to get a 12 dollar tshirt for 35 bucks.

Ridiculous. Privacy is important period for everyone. These journalists get death threats for no reason as is. Stop putting zero value on privacy.  You don't have to be guilty of something to be entitled to it.

Look at fuckin Brad Pitt over here pulling fours...

I ate three slices of pizza and drank a sugar-free Red Bull. I nearly threw up twice during the game, but I got shots up and hit six threes.

Because shut up, Kyle.

Put the rest of the bill on your AMEX, dispute it as an undisclosed charge

That is fraud and I hope you are fined.

The 20 ad breaks showing on the bottom are what puts it over the top

It’s just like my dad always says...
*three minute voicemail of ambient traffic noise and AM radio*

This bird is really hoping you didn’t notice that fart.

Ok, so just hear me out.....