I like Brie Larson and I’m excited to see her as Captain Marvel again but through the whole movie I imagined her thinking “I’m acting! I’m acting SO HARD right now!” It wasn’t great. Admittedly, I’ve never seen her in anything else.

I mean, Double-A is basically the bush league, so...

So the answer to the headline question is: Do with them the the exact same things you were doing with them last week. Thanks for that deep insightful journalism.

Sorry, but the correct response was “What is, Annapolis?”

If an 18-year-old says he scored nine times, it means he maaaybe got one handjob.

You, sir, are the brilliant mind this country needs. Thank you for your service. 

I would add that they should install a smooth hard surface of some sort over everything beyond 400 feet so that if you hit what used to be a home run, that ball is never going to stop rolling. Also institute a rule that you can run the bases multiple times for multiple runs, but if you’re on your second or later time…

Hey man, hockey’s great. Think of the Bruins as the really nasty shit you take the morning after a really rich dinner and a few too many cocktails.

Oh yeah, definitely.  You’re TOTALLY incensed.  I can just feel it from here.  

That will be my official response whenever my wife complains about blowing up the bathroom.

Man, imagine being too scummy an association for the Bruins. 

Depressingly plausible.

My vote? Time-traveling tourists. Sightings are increasing because we’re getting closer to WWIII, a popular destination in time for history buffs.

You shit yourself at work during a meeting. It’s obvious to all present—they can hear it, smell it and, as you run out of the room, see it.

for them?

But when it reached the part of the speech where Reagan addressed “the enemies of freedom,” the following images were shown: A protester in a beanie with an anti-fascist slogan

Everyone welcome Tony Romo to Deadspin!

In Neely’s defense, just because Ravizza’s dead doesn’t mean he isn’t doing what he does best.

Perhaps the true iron throne was the friends we made along way.