This is actually one of my favorite ways to repel aggressive douchenozzles in bars and whatnot. After a few nice, "No, thank you. I'm very flattered, but no." I just start in on "Well, I'm on my period and I swear to God the clots I am passing are chipmunk sized. Adult chipmunks. And the gushing??? It's like a crime…

HER FINGERS

Right back at ya!

This reminds me of how sick Dan Savage got of hearing defensive Christians say "we're not all like that!" in response to every story about fundamentalist homophobia, as though Christians were the real victims here. His argument was that as long as they didn't actively speak out against those elements in their…

THE GREATER GOOD!

MAGNERS OR GTFO

English Breakfast? Are you fucking kidding me? Is it breakfast time? IS IT? NO, IT IS NOT!

Hey Bill O'Reilly? What's your stance on government-funded birth control, and comprehensive sex education in public schools? Access to womens' healthcare? Planned Parenthood?

Hmm. I see. And Beyonce is the problem.

HA! No you do not get an award for that, Chrissie Teigen, that trophy is still held by me and a friend that pulled this "under a blanket" trick in economy on a flight back from Hawaii.

I read it wrong. I thought it was from The League. Now I'm the creepy one.

I suspect that redemption requires one to acknowledge and apologize and make amends for the things in your past that require redemption.

It was later reported that the airline charged the teen with excessive emotional baggage fees.

Getting that taken care of must have been awkward. How many doctors did it take? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight . . . ?

WTH, LeAnn?

BookExpo America in Chicago, 2004. I was at a late-night party for some erotica publishing company and I was not feeling it at all. It was late, I was tired, and BEA was winding down and it was really just time to go HOME already.

For real. Sometimes I'll commit myself to eating an entire (1.5ish cup) container of cut fresh pineapple from the produce section, but by the end of it my tongue is super upset with my decision. I cannot imagine 2 pineapples in one sitting.

Um, no, Jezebel. No. Embryos that are screened for genetic diseases and sex are not "genetically modified."

That is the strangest reply I've ever received on this site.