I hate being asked what 'my colours' are. I've seen colour themed weddings, they're terrifying. Purple and pink uplighting! Obnoxious amounts of fuchsia orchids! Garish black and red chair covers! I want none of it.

Bahahaha sorry! I wish I could go hit the Jo Malone counter at Holt Renfrew...seven hours away...

SAME!! I bought the sampler set a few years ago and ended up with Red Rose, Wild Bluebell and a few others that are lovely, but I definitely go for stronger, warmer scents too. I wear them in the summer. As soon as sweater weather hits I pull out the Pomegranate Noir again. Jo Malone is the best.

Giorgio is my mom's perfume. It reminds me of velvet dresses and big hair.

NIGELLA LET ME LOVE YOU!

I just keep seeing a crotchety old man yelling 'GET OFF MY LAWN' in the context of his wife being the lawn. Fucking dying right now.

If you look at your garden and don't like how it looks, Driscoll preaches, just remember: "You are the gardener."

Thank you!

This is my favourite bubble bath brand. It smells like heaven.

I believe she was on vacation.

It's like they're uncooked diamonds.

I'd be eating so much kale.

Even worse? Black diamonds. Shiny coal, people. Shiny coal.

I didn't check the writer byline but when I saw this:

Nah, we like each other now.

My sister once pistol whipped me with a cordless phone. She also tied me up and put me in a closet for an hour. She also took self defense lessons that she DID NOT USE FOR SELF DEFENSE.

I want all the attachments for my new kitchenaid. Grind all the meat! Make all the pasta!

I have it saved in my 'creeptastic' gif folder. It's a treasure.

I had chills the entire time I was reading this. Charlotte, you are amazing.