cucumberbandersnatch
CucumberBandersnatch
cucumberbandersnatch

Poseur! I listen to all my music on clay pots, the way the Jesus intended!

Uh, it’s all punch-cards now, grandpa!

Uh, floppies are so lame. This is the only real way to listen to music:

I accept nothing less than Zip discs.

I’m hoping the 160GB ipod revival happens soon because I miss mine.

Uh, 3.5” floppy discs are already played out, I’m rockin’ 5.25" floppies and some retro 8 inches. You can listen to my album and then play Moon Patrol.

I’d take 50% tips from lottery winning hillbillies and fugitives from the law any day of the week.

Tumblr also invented feminism, legalized abortion, created Steven Universe, made video games too easy, and wrote The Last Jedi.

Not really. They function very differently, and Tumblr isn’t as “anonymous” (on Tumblr hardly anyone uses their real names but all your posts and reblogs get your name attached to them.)

At this point I’m confident the only reason Tumblr manages to stay afloat is because of the gargantuan amounts of porn in it (much to Yahoo’s dismay lmao).

I’ve learned in my years that, no matter how much i love something, to never, ever, join a fandom

huh. So like a fancy Kinja

They always say “Never meet you heroes”, but to me, it’s always been “never meet other fans”.  They will inevitably ruin whatever thing you once loved and make you ashamed to be associated with it.

This is interesting! Maybe it’s cause I’m detached from the fandom stuff, but I go on tumblr everyday and feel like it hasn’t really changed much.

Inversely, Subway is the worst stoner restaurant. WAY too much pressure and decision making, and I haven’t found one yet that accepts “um... yes, please” as an answer to “What kind of bread?”.

I just rewatched Haywire last week and that movie was so underappreciated. Carano can’t act and that’s fine. Neither could some of the biggest action stars of all time. Just let them play to their strengths. It worked for Schwarzenegger in The Terminator and I thought it worked for Carano in Haywire and Deadpool.

Meet the new pope. Same as the young pope.

This whole New Pope story is just a marketing ploy. It’s a misdirect. When the season premiers, it will be the old cast and characters, and it will actually be called Pope-a Pola Classic.

Great, the equivalent of patent trolls are going to purchase the rights of decades old songs then sue every successful modern musician that may have a similar sound, chord progression, lyric, beat etc.

I’m just going to release albums that are each 200 hours of atonal shrieking, and the album titles will all be e.g. “Inspired by the Works of Marvin Gaye, Vol. XII.”