CTSMike's saved articles

I fucking hated Avatar at the time, so it’s a testament to the excellent writing in this column that I actually kinda want to rewatch it now. 

You either die a Metroidvania developer, or you live long enough to become an action-RPG-with-random-dungeons developer.

There has been this sort of... life through rose tinted glasses look at the Prequels lately. Partially because of nostalgia. Partially because the new movies were somewhat disappointing. Likely because of all those damn memes. I’m sorry, no amount of time has made these movies any better. Revenge of the Sith has a few… Read more

It occupies a similar place in my heart as “Chronicles of Riddick,” which if not as high-minded is equally sweeping and preposterous. Read more

holy shit, the Cannes cut is finally coming out. i’ve had like a 240p torrented copy for years that i’ve never actually watched cause it looks so shitty

It’s all been downhill since Series 1!

Tom, if you’re looking for a follow-up feature as you enter the home stretch with this one, may I suggest a year by year breakdown of the biggest film financial failures (i.e. greatest difference between budget and return). You can call it The Popcorn Chumps.

Why do you even watch it? Also, oh my god shut up.

this is right up there with Dances With Wolves over Goodfellas or The King’s Speech over The Social Network. Read more

similarly, my experience of this movie went from good to great when I realised that it was never going to go back to the start and tie up all those loose ends. it just lets Connie’s night spin out and out of control and the moment you realise it’s the entire movie is just an “oh, fuck, here we go” moment

What I love about this film is that it takes a while to realise what a horrible piece of work Connie is. He’s so charming, in a down-on-his-luck scumbag sort of way, that you don’t realise that he genuinely is a monster. He’s not wantonly cruel, especially, just almost completely without empathy.

Tricky was the apex of Snowboarding games.

He cut hospital beds by 20,000 before this, is currently cutting Medicaid in the state, and closed things within his control far later than he should have.

But hey, he barely clears the low bar of “reading charts!”

Hardcore fans will note that Mario Kart Wii, while initially being thought of as a bit of breezy entry, turned out to be one of the most hardcore entries in the entire series. Certainly it’s better than Mario Kart 64 and Double Dash in every single way other than nostalgia.

This is the single biggest thing Mario Maker has needed since its inception. Well played, Nintendo. I salute you!!

The Lighthouse was superior to Jo Jo Rabbit in almost every aspect of filmmaking and I’d rather have seen it on the list, even though it never would have had a chance to win.

I sense by chip quality ratings, you’re a crunchy over crispy chip eater.  I don’t begrudge someone their preferences, lord knows I’m particular, but I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum.  I actually really like the Lay’s Flaming Hot pickle most out of these, with the Calbee a runner up for me.

“Draining your battery to 0%” Read more

I like this metaphor. There’s no particular reason to consume their new material apart from nostalgia for their old material, and there’s no reason to revisit their old material since you already know it so well. Read more

Keep it in the movie, cowards. I wanna see Bond beef it on some wet grass.