Other countries have schools where an afterlife paradise is part of the goal. They’re our enemies and we hate them and are scared of them and bomb them because of their wacky religious ideas. Sometimes- strike that -almost ALL of the time, I cannot accept conservative evangelical Christians as anything but the same…

Figured. I think everyone kinda sorta figured, if even just a little bit.

She should “Take a stand as a Christian,” and slide with the times, bucking the archaic, anti-humanity yoke her religion instills in its people. And it wouldn’t even be so difficult; an aspect of the this era is secular progression. Even the Catholics swing nowadays.

This is terrorism, by the very definition of the word and by the legal standards of the American and other Western government, and the people behind it are terrorists. It needs to start being called what it is by our a la carte media, and by our governments, and by all of us in the social media melee, as well as in…

There should be laws against this. You don’t hire a professional rodeo clown to make military-grade plastic explosives, and you don’t give a newspaper editing job to an illiterate mechanic.

And be capable of doing twenty push-ups and twenty sit-ups, or even just clasping their hands behind their back for twelve seconds. Perhaps jog one hundred yards, or pass a Facebook IQ test. Be able to recite at least three ammendments, not including the 2nd. Interact with another person’s child without making them…

The truth, man. This sad lot of amazing meat machines are all dying by fire someday. Be it tomorrow or in a hundred generations, we’re f**ed and may as well have the luxury of enjoying something as exotic and unique as the total truth. Moles and all. Complete transparency and constant access to the absolute truth…

Awesome. So amazingly awesome. The outgoing President of the United States of America and a perfectly graceful Prince Amongst Men, showing solidarity and compassion to a true, if troubled, patriot. Between the lines, President Obama tip his politically and ethically agreeable hand.

I’m tired. I didn’t read the article. Im sorry. But judging from the headline alone though, that’s the most surreal and batshit insane thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve heard a lot of really mad things in the last...day.

You know what will coax him out; cash, and hookers, and cheetos. Just pile that stuff up out in the street, and when he furtively emerges from his warm, golden den, eyes blinking against the dim winter sun, grab him an make him president of the United States of America, and let’s get this mad bastard of an era on the…

If you get up early every morning and put in the effort, you know, practice in front of your mirror or with a close and trusted friend, you’ll be a natural fabulist in no time. Like, just totally commit. Make a “training montage” mix tape and totally go for it. But you gotta commit.

Well, that’s a modern republican for you. If it isn’t blatant lies, it’s repeating someone else’s blatant lies.

Has anyone answered “all of them” yet? I want all of the strippers at my funeral. Beautiful women in French maid getups and candystriper outfits, guys dressed like all of the village people, Thai ladyboy strippers; you name it. I want my death to be a celebration of life, and burlesque eroticism. It would also have…

I’m a geek to a fault. I dig superhero flicks. I’m a child of the 80s and I’m an avid consumer of entertainment media.

Like ball lightning and UFOS, ghosts and quake lights, I’m sure there’s a perfectly rational explanation for this phenomena.

Hey kids! Can you spot Pennywise the clown? He’s hidden somewhere in this picture! And after you’ve found him, see if you can’t also find your brother’s severed arm! (Hint: It’s in another world, because there’s more world’s than these!)

It’s Twitter, man. It’s a platform for dialogue (egocentric missives) that necessitates abbreviated and condensed chunks of information, by design. It leads to miscommunication and lots of very confusing implementations of language. Combine that with the fact that you can rarely identify any sort of tone or subtle…

But it did sort of mean something, though; it meant that the majority of us voted one way, but our weird and antiquated electoral system fucked us over, yet again. It put a magnifying glass up to a vestigial feature-become-flaw in our “democratic” system, a system that many Americans already have a high amount of…

If it happens, it’ll likely be at the hands of agents from within our own or some other government. He’s already at odds with the CIA and the FBI. I would put money on the likely possibility that factions inside some other more secretive agencies are making contingency plans. Its only rational; the too-soon-to-be most…

Down with the collegiate vote. It’s antiquated and archaic and it’s a fucking racket.