Every day with this guy. It just doesn’t stop. You wake up and there’s always some crazy fresh hell waiting for you, courtesy of the incoming POSUS. (Piece of Shit of the United States) It’s fucking surreal, and it’s fucking horrifying. Like he’s intentionally working to throw the world into chaos, while giving…

Drake’s such a big goof. You’re not fooling anybody, Drake. You’re an awkward spaz and everyone knows it.

The dark, hardline fascist America that so many have feared is becoming real. And it starts with the victimization of the Rockettes.

Avril Lavigne is a (deluded) doll, but she’s mistaken.

So, she, being someone that’s unfortunately in-the-know, is acknowledging that it’s common for conservative male power players to take mistresses.

All right, I see. I’m honestly, and unfortunately, too much of a stubborn hayseed that I don’t usually ken and can’t ever keep the intricacies of fancy etiquette in my brain when I encounter them. My brain hates it I when I even try.

Is that a threat? That can’t be a threat, right? One of us is going to have to take a hit and get on Twitter, apparently

I hope there’s a contextual lack of information in that Tweet. If it was a threat, please do tell me, because I don’t use Twitter.

Her face looks like it may just sort of slide off of her skull at any moment. With a wet sound. Like an octopus letting go of a melon.

That can’t be it. Shortly after TOS ended, Shatner’s girdle became self-aware and sank deep into the Western world’s subconscious. Like a pop-culture virus, it infected our base feelings of self-esteem and worth and image, utterly destroying them.

Hold on! Wait. Eating meat and potatoes in the middle of summer is uncommon? In what region, and to what segment of the population? I’m (almost entirely) not being sarcastic here, because I may need to adjust my diet accordingly. I care what people think about me, dammit! Is this a new thing, like a new social or…

This election was a game of “What’s the Least Shitty Deal” and we all know it. And Clinton had all the points on the board.

He’s an old and overweight man who’s natural coloring is a very pallid shade of death. His basic makeup is fueled by rare steak and egocentrism, as well as spray tan and a constant, petty, mean-spirited sort anger.

The progenitors of our civilization would likely have a smug chuckle over all of this confused and hateful hand wringing. We are talking about one of the most basic functions of life, something every living organism on this planet does. Like sex, or death, or becoming old. Humans are only creatures on Earth to have…

They don’t need to be defined. They need to be ignored into irrelevence and oblivion, and should that fail, we’ll have to find a different, more final solution.