thank you for this, i needed this today

This is from Next Stop Greenwich Village:

She probably smelled the antibiotics in him.

There's a hair salon by my place where the sign has a big picture of Christopher Walken and says "Walkens Welcome."

And here I was expecting it to be like "Tammi-Lyn America" or something

For you Mark, here is a clip of Howard Moon and his evil twin saying "sir" too much in conversation.

Settle down, Mark. This is more reporting than CNN has done in ages.

Thank you for your tireless dedication to journalism, sir.

Fucks sake, are they trying to convince me to buy a T-Shirt or invade Poland?

That, too.

The Old Ones lay waste to all! None will be safe, not even the marrieds. It's a single girl's dream!!!! A single girl's mad, feverish dream.

It isn't. But the reason those women aren't victims of violence has a lot more to do with socio economic status than marital status specifically.

I lovecraft you.

I've figured it out. This is the creeping madness that heralds the awakening of Cthulhu in watery R'lyeh! Rejoice! Soon you will be reduced to gibbering insanities as the priest of the Old Ones arises to retake the world that is rightfully His! Ia! Ia!

BREAKING NEWS: Domestic violence is no more. Sources say that reports of domestic disputes have dropped to zero.

Somebody needs to tell this to all those beaten and abused married women in Afghanistan. The married biological fathers over there didn't get the memo.

Attention, naysayers! Allow me to submit for your shutting-the-fuck-up now, Hottentot Venus. Educate yourself because I no longer have the patience.