I mean, if you just went off the pretty pictures...

how dare you, Drew Brees is a saint 

This is very similar to how I fix my toilet by just absolutely konging out a monster deuce in there and then just walking away until someone else has to use it.
Did it fix it? I don’t know, but it certainly was a thing I’ve done. 

Generally, the altitude out west really exacerbates Ben’s already-high blood alcohol content.

“That’s the reality until we do something about it.”

That view of people who use the stall when a urinal is available is exactly why I always leave the door open if I’m forced to use the stall. It’s kind of a “see, everyone, I’m not afraid of urinals, it’s just that none were available...”

Truth. My boss threatened to write me up for my Twitter and I quit in response and I’ve never felt better.

This.  When I deleted my Twitter a few years ago, I was expecting it to be difficult and that I’d be missing out on stuff.  Easiest thing I’ve ever done.  A totally useless social network.  Just read a newspaper.

One time I was at the merch stand and I wanted to try on a shirt. So, in front of God and everyone, I took my other shirt OFF and was about to try on the new one when the cashier was like WHOA WHOA WHOA YOU CAN’T DO THAT. Honestly, he probably should have arrested me for it. Anyway I love band T-shirts even though…

BUGLE BOY shirts were never cool, were they? I had, like, a dozen at one point

20 games worth buying this for:
——-ALREADY IDENTIFIED
1. Final Fantasy Vll
2. Jumping Flash
3. Ridge Racer Type 4
4. Tekken 3
5. Wild Arms 
——————-

20 games worth buying this for:
——-ALREADY IDENTIFIED
1. Final Fantasy Vll
2. Jumping Flash
3. Ridge Racer Type 4
4. Tekk…

1. Battle Arena Toshinden
2. Jumping Flash!
3. Mary-Kate and Ashley: Magical Mystery Mall
4. Bubsy 3D
5. Bubsy 3D
6. Bubsy 3D
...
19. Bubsy 3D
20. Spot Goes To Hollywood

1. Battle Arena Toshinden
2. Jumping Flash!
3. Mary-Kate and Ashley: Magical Mystery Mall
4. Bubsy 3D
5. Bubsy 3D
6.…

How is Ben Shapiro a fascist? How is he a racist? I thought attacking people for different opinions and trying to silence debate was fascism?

Counter-argument:

I ruptured my hamstring on a rollercoaster... same deal, I have no idea how it actually happened (just old I guess). I think the real culprit was the crash on my mountain bike the day before, but it was really minor seeming and I felt no pain at all after it. Dr. thinks I probably injured the hammy in the crash, and…

Yeah thanks, well aware. The OP made it sound like Fidelity is beholden to its shareholders like a public company is, which it is not. They do not have to worry about hitting their quarterly numbers for the earnings release which allows them to operate completely differently.

Uh Fidelity is a private company

You seem to not really have a grasp of just how much money people have invested with Fidelity. Yeah on an individual basis that $7/year might not be much but when you look at their total portfolio it is serious money.

I still don’t get it. Roughly how much had you put into the stock market when it crashed, and what had you been planning to spend it on in 2009?

Wait, HOW did you get “burned hard”? How many years’ worth of investment had you put into the stock market by the time mid-2008 rolled around? The average millennial would have around 20 years old at the time. How much money had they been able to dump into the stock market? Somewhere close to Fuck All, I would have…