sony: hey can you say fuck you to konami somehow

Sir, I believe this is America.

This is very sad.

I actually can't even picture how you wipe your ass while sitting. Like, I reach my hand pretty much into the toilet bowl under my balls? What if I took an enormous shit that is peaking above the water? Why would anyone risk that? I wasn't even aware sitting to wipe was a thing people did. What the actual fuck.

Yeah why not, SAFER is just 500$/ft, just make Mexico pay for it.

Did someone say “grounded”?

Option 3 is to find the Alpha car in the parking lot first thing, and then crash into it, just beat the hell out of it...then the other cars know to respect you.

Watt is the starter at all positions, including lord and savior. These other guys are just backups because Watt can’t (yet) play all positions at all times. They’ve decided he is most valuable as a defensive lineman.

The backstory to this custom Camaro can be found on Jezebel with the title: “Evil boyfriend causes sweet young lady to get calluses on her hands from hammer”

Congratulations, Mr. Ill_Mac, on COTD today! I would like to gift you with an Aston Martin which this lovely lady will deliver to you as soon as she wipes the butt print off the fender.

Most surprising part of the headline.

As a fan, it was nice to see Vince Young have one last disappointing drive.

Poor little guy. I bet he was exhausted.

He is afraid of death and I am afraid of life.

I don’t know how much Lovie really helped Jameis. Kid was already pretty offensive before he got to Tampa Bay.

In his apology OBJ namechecks:

Do you think Goodell actually says “Bring out the Gimp.” when they need Peter King’s services or does he merely think it?

I care about my own team. Hyperbole serves no one ever.