crystaljewell
Crystal Jewell, 25 year old grad student
crystaljewell

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Both parties send all of Crystal’s tax dollars to Ukrainian President Zelenskyy and do nothing to alleviate her credit card debt to help her pay for the updated COVID-19 vaccine inoculation, which is no longer free. That’s what she said.

None of Crystal’s progressive friends in the state of Iowa are voting. America’s two-party system is a fake democracy which offers only senile male perverts as candidates.  That’s what she said.

I was at the rally. I took the opportunity to speak to female American graduate student Crystal Jewell. Crystal is convinced there’s no point in voting. American democracy is broken and she won’t waste any more of her time on it.  That’s what she said.

It’s like a guilty pleasure for me at this point. I look forward to her comments. It really feels like an alien with an agenda trying her damndest to sound human.

It’s gotta be some kind of performance art thing, right? Her comments are fascinating.

that’s a picture of elena ryabinka. crystal jewell’s unaborted daughter is named julia. reading isn’t that difficult

I think she may be slipping. Unaborted Julia is supposed to be only three years old. I can’t think of many three year olds who are experts in both tennis and European economics. 

How else will we know the comings and goings of her unaborted daughter Julia?

Why the fuck is the Russian troll account still ungreyed and allowed to post here?

This is, by far, my favorite Russian parody account. 

Had not actually seen a “crystal” post before this thread, but you are absolutely correct. That is someone’s turing test AI experiment bullshit.

I’m on to you, GARY!

I have been called many things by Jezebel commenters:

How much crack did you smoke before you wrote that comment?  All of the crack?

Just yesterday there was a post here discussing how Russian bots are sowing discord among feminist groups. And now, as in yesterday’s article, is the “25 yr old single mother graduate student from the state of Iowa”.

At first I thought you were kidding and/or that they were doing a “bit”...but no, that’s an actual Russian troll. Their conversation history is just bonkers, and their username is objectively hilarious in context.

“Oh, hello, fellow feminists. I am young American girl-ski from American state of Iowa....”

The funniest part: “I fear the situation is beyond retrieval.” Yeah, that sounds like something somebody born here would say!

 Shut up, tomato. 

I think this (C-J), and another account I saw in the greys last night,are the return of the Tomato troll, whom I haven’t seen around since the demise of Splinter.