You guys, how did I not know about this?

you guys, my favorite episode by far was the one where abbi got her wisdom teeth removed. it was motherfucking genius. lincoln with those "black blue hands" was pure perfection. and the drew barrymore impressions, holy shit y'all.

Am I the only one that thinks they shouldn't have been expelled? Let me explain myself, because it's certainly not because what they did wasn't incredibly fucked up. I think that the university could have used this as an opportunity to start a dialogue instead. Now, I fear that these dickwads will use this as an…

So I am also from Georgia (but from Savannah, where people speak in comprehensible sentences). However, I am unfortunately very familiar with Reidsville (where they do NOT speak in comprehensible sentences), which sounds like Valdosta's twin town. I haven't been able to decide how I feel about this yet. What I do know…

Why wouldn't you want to hang out with Martha Stewart? I would love to eat snacks all day and talk shit about Gwyneth Paltrow.

Here in Baltimore when the mayor declares a Code Blue, the shelters open more spots to the homeless for housing and meal services. They also operate a 24-hour housing center, and encourage private housing organizations to extend their hours and keep people indoors.

"Speaking of Shaq..."

"My worst nightmare is a world without burritos, but I guess a snake in the toilet is probably numbers two through five."

oh my god, NEVER DIE, RBG!

When I was in college, I waited tables at a chain restaurant. We were all alcoholics, all of us. One year, we had our holiday party at a nearby bar that our manager had rented out. Why he decided to have an ALL-YOU-CAN-DRINK holiday party for restaurant-worker COLLEGE KIDS AT A BAR escapes me, but we were clearly…

my friends and i stole a bunch of clothes from a department store. we would then return the clothes. the department store had a bozo-ass policy where if you returned clothes without a receipt, they would just mail you a check. we then used that money to buy a shit load of weed. we did this about 3 times my freshman…

"watching TV on big cumffy coutch."

I think some of that "bad, bad news" you were referring to was the fact that Tom Cruise DIDN'T get hit by that bus.

"Amy Adams will play Jackie Jormp-Jomp in a biopic."

in the south, it is common to make grits a sweet dish as opposed to savory. while i do not condone adding sweet-n-low to achieve this (it's generally done with jam, or maybe even syrup), it's not that weird to me.

As I stated in another post, I don't generally let my dogs off-leash. Yes, we do have dog parks in my city but they are often run down pads of cement.

A "park" generally consists of open, green space. What you are describing is a playground, my friend. Sometimes playgrounds are found in parks, but they are in fact different things. I do agree that dogs should not be let off leash in playgrounds. However, to assert that you and your child have more of a right to be…

Actually, parks are for everyone, not just human children. To be clear, my dogs are always on leash, but I get a bit incensed when parents think the fucking world revolves around them and their child.

Ugh, gross. So because you decided to procreate, you think you are more deserving of public park space than people that decided to have dogs instead of kids? My dogs have never had any negative interactions with "actual human children." In fact, countless off-leash children have run up to my dogs and started…