i wish when i lied that i was able to believe myself as well as drumpf does when he lies.

Man that is just like my engagement story. I was putting away some groceries while my husband was doing the dishes and he said “Let’s get married” and I said “Sure”.

it’s more than possible that I overlooked a few penises.

Headline should be

Counterpoint: The Shallows is actually a pretty good movie and the cast is not (because Blake Lively is the cast)

Dilyn, Skylar and Dakota said they’d bring craft beer. Braxley, Trystyn and Chad will bring their homemade crafts; both knitting AND crochet!
I, of course, will be bringing my home brewed mead and hand sculpted rapier quillons.

And let’s not forget that because these people were such underhanded, freeloading con-men, the taxpayers picked up the bill for the kid to go to rehab.

Really. Frank could kick the bucket and the show would go on. Most of the interest in the Shameless fandom seems to be geared toward Fiona, Lip, and Ian’s storylines.

i hope this didn’t just happen because william h. macy was like “fuck you guys, pay the woman.” i hope it happened because of EMMY and emmy alone.

I have always loved Macy ever since I heard that he was one of the few people to treat Nina Hartley like a actual human being while on the set of Boogie Nights.

this is hilarious! who gave this the Drunk History treatment? The girl that tried to buy the candles?

It will. He did it in the most perfect, gentlest way possible. He allowed me my hurt, told me that if I needed time away from him he would understand, and asked what I needed from him to hurt as little as possible. He’s a good man. He’s just not that into me, as it were. There’ll be someone else. Or there won’t.…

Jezebel is by no means innocent of clickbaiting, but the Pissing Contest is a noble Cyberspace Sport, not to be summoned willy-nilly nor sullied by capitalist internet data.

I want to love my Roomba (we named her Rosie), but I just can’t. She’s kind of a piece of shit at her job but then constantly rearranges my furniture. Like, I know you’re paying me to clean your house but my real passion is decorating.

Yeah, they really should have gotten Jensen Ackles to do a cameo of some sort, whether it was just buying pie/cheeseburgers in the background of some scene or turning around briefly when someone said “Dean” in a public place.

Rory does not deserve Jess. She and Logan with their dumb love of money and nonsensical seemingly whimsical but really just dickish interludes that treat other people like crap belong together in a way Christopher and Lorelai never did.

“finally over a shitty hump in my research program and my partner can move so we won’t be long distance anymore”

That depends. Is the Giant Meteor going to run again?

I’d vote for a rip in the space and time continuum.

KITCHENETTE 4 LYFE.