Meh. Subway has its use. If you are travelling, or road tripping, and you just want plain food that won’t cause you to have trench-ass, then there’s a subway at the next exit.

Exactly! Simplify, like going to the movies and asking for a bucket of salt with some popcorn on top. 

Had a long and fruitless conversation about that, once with a franchise owner. Afterwards, I just asked for white, orange, or holes, so I’d fit in with the crowd and my order was always correct. 

Well all mayo in general is disgusting and can only be made edible by adding other things to it. And aiolis are just mayo that moved away after college, dropped the accent from their voice, put an umlaut over the ‘u’ in their last name and only visit every third Christmas for half a day.

And with that, the country closes its door on the largest and most increasingly-depressing sandwich chain.

I’m not a cruel man, no matter what my liar high school shop teacher said in that stupid arraignment.

The pants made for the carnival-going crowd who spend $20 trying to win that “Take Me To Your Dealer” weed alien poster.

I’m pleased that I managed to make it through the entire existence of JNCO without ever really being fully aware of their existence. It’s amazing what kinds of meaningless bullshit humans will trendily obsess over during there... er, I mean our brief flickering lives here on Earth.

Whenever you sneeze I will reply with “Really, it’s come to this?”

You’re welcome

Respecting others’ customs is great. But “bless you” isn’t a custom you keep to yourself, it’s a custom you’re imposing on me, the sneezer. To wit, if I don’t say “thank you” after someone’s “bless you,” they will get offended. I’m just asking these people to please stop shoving their ancient Roman religion down my…

What I like to do is calculate the amount of fuel that an idling engine would use, then work out whether the fuel required to make up for the decelerative forces produced by remaining in gear would be more or less than the former value at that moment in time, continuously evaluate the two, and then not give a…

Giggity.