Peaky blinders is fucking brilliant but I’m not sure Americans would be able to handle the accents

“Business idea - tell lies that people want to believe and call it news. Put ads on articles. Make big bucks.”

Flakka that

Hoo boy life is never going to be quite real same after the last week

What will the punishment for the kid be?

They way his words make little sense is the least terrible thing about him yet it makes my skin crawl all the same

Why are all the politicians now talking about how everyone will work together and everything will be fine? Say what you fucking want to say! A man has just been elected president by saying whatever the fuck he wants. Hillary should just be like - fuck this! Let’s start a revolution! Obama should be like - fuck this! I…

The thing that will sting the most will be paying taxes now. You’ll be funding that shit. Blegh.

I’m fairly certain they do it because it makes them feel good. Like, secret dirty pleasure good. Or zit popping good. They just have to scratch that itch.

Someone just needs to do decent research on this. It cannot be that hard. And surely preventing utis is pretty important, cos they hurt like fuck and are so common.

I’m certain many bars of soap will be getting ruined as a result of this, and whoever the penis havers might share soap with will be seriously annoyed.

He’s taking interview tips from willow and jaden Smith obviously

This was my phone wallpaper for more than a year

Multitasking fail

I bow down to this much smarter version of the comment that I came up with. I am feeling a touch murderous today.

You’re in control of when your parents die

My personality disorder prevents me from lying in almost all situations. The santa stuff with my son makes me have breakdowns.

Nowadays my boyfriend asking to put the light on is code and really means can I take pictures/video, and nothing to do with my (almost non existent) self consciousness.

1. Tobey maguire was married?

I wish I had a time travel machine so I could read the comments on the linked gawker article