crispyduck
crispyduck
crispyduck

I am working from home with my cat on my head and a figure of Pazuzu on the couch next to me.

My cheesecake brings all the boys to the yard.

Attack people. They attack people.

I think the Pickle-Tip guy was a malfunctioning outer space robot from Mars. See, he heard, "Don't take any wooden nickles," and then glitched it into "don't take any wooden pickles," and then misinterpreted that to mean "The earth-humans demand gifts of pickles plaaced upon the wooden table. I have pleases Emperor

Land of the free bread!

Only a deranged asshole would order bacon extra limp, then offer said gelatinous fatty tissue to a terrified waitress as a peace offering. Crispy or nothing, limp dick psycho Santa.

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

Ah, yes. When I was hired, the job description said X amount of money. I got less then X, tried to negotiate, and was told in a year I would be bumped up. In a year, I got rave performance reviews and told I was doing everything perfectly. However, all of a sudden, “Nobody gets raises or promotions” before 2 years.

After a quick review of the comments, it looks like some doubly horrible huckster is trying to cash in on these idiots “fame.” It isn't run by anyone associated with the pizza place, just a guy who hates gays and loves wire fraud. He may be a Nigerian prince.

“Family-owned business falls victim to culture war.” Funny how that whole “personal responsibility” thing never applies to white Christians.

Is there a place where we can tell them to “Gofundyourself?”

Honestly, the university should be embarrassed to have not done their homework on Common before now. That’s some C- freshman bullshit, Kean. Pro-tip, never ever admit that you started your research the night before like this again.

I don’t see it as sexist.

I prefer "but why?" to "oh but you'd be so good at it!" Yes, I probably wouldn't raise a terrible human. Is that really a good enough reason why I should be compelled to do it? It kiiiiiills me that people cannot comprehend how someone could be good with kids, even kind of like them, but not actually want their own.

"Because I would hate and resent them."

I empathize strongly with the childless by choice, because I've been so badly treated for having an only. Among the comments I used to receive when our kid was younger:

I actually want to have kids, but I will never understand how the choice not to have kids is labeled selfish by our society. Having children is literally one of the most selfish actions I can think of - you are making another person to replace you!