crispyduck
crispyduck
crispyduck

When I was online dating, a lot of men who tried to get with me conveniently had open marriages - I am ok with that, but definitely not willing to be a participant in actual cheating, so I required the wife to tell me personally she was ok with it. I suspect some of them had a don't ask, don't tell arrangement, but

It sort of makes it sound like illness is a totally acceptable reason to cheat. That kind of blows my mind. I have an illness right now that has left me physically unable to do a lot of what I did before. I already feel horrible guilt about how this has affected the lives of everyone in my family. The last thing I

He's very deep. He's the Mariana Trench of people.

But Gaysian, rich assholes don't become rich assholes by just rolling over and accepting a 2% cut. They will claw, scratch, and squeeze for 1.9%. Maybe 1.8%. Because fuck you that's why.

How else are you supposed to amass a car collection that rivals the Sultan of Brunei's? #lifegoals

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My

LIES. MAYO IS PROOF GOD LOVES US.

The problem is that, love her or hate her, Joan was a true leader and industry pioneer. Rancid, Osbourne, they're just hacks and it shows - Joan just isn't there to smooth it over anymore.

Stop the world. I want to get off.

Erin, that elevator incident is all kinds of creepy. Omg, how were you not pressing the buttons for the nearest floor to escape and wait for the next right?

Baskin Robbins in hell.

It's sorta funny when people are making a big point and you feel like, "Yeah! I'm with you... I'm with you...keep going..." and then they say a clunker like that.

Here's an image for scale.

The Cartesian plane is pretty big

I used to frequently drive between Minneapolis MN and Stevens Point WI for college, during which I shared the road with a lot of different drivers. Something that was common was to get into little "speed convoys" as I will call them. Anyone who knows that area will be familiar with how easy it is to get pulled over

This reminds me of anytime you drive long distances at night and you follow someone/they follow you and you form some sort of bond. I mean you pass people together, you go through construction together, avoid speed traps together, and you're sad when they go.

You're thinking of UC Santa Barbara. Where the killer literally posted a video on YouTube about how he was going to kill women because they were women.

It feels weird to say, "I'd like to think that's true!" but even so, I don't think it would be true.

I swear to God. it's apparently going to take someone being murdered for being a woman in the media for things to change.

God dammit I love this comment section so much