"I am going to flick her without a condom and cook in her condo."

All your babies are belong to ugly.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUN.

I'm beginning to suspect that Greg Schiano might not be the most reputable person in the NFL.

A talking horse keeps Eric Berry up late at night

I don't pity Florence, SC. Living in southern New Jersey, I get the same slate of games AND a vested interest in the goddamn Eagles.

Roll Tide with Bleach Alternative.

Rumor has it, this was all caused when an angry Alabama fan poisoned the ticket oak.

Wow. This Phil Mushnick guy sure gives journalists an "urban" eye.

"Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, who was paid behind the scenes to pretend he masterminded the hoax behind Manti Te'o's fake dead girlfriend in order to cover up their homosexual relationship..."

Sing us a song you're the Schiano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a clusterfuck
And there's no end to this shitshow in sight

I'm shocked Spurrier even got up for the occasion. Drunk cocks usually don't.

Don't undersell Schiano, or oversell the players. These NFL bums are guys who have only succeeded at every previous level, then reached the highest level of their chosen profession. What makes them think they're above being told how to succeed by a man who has won both the Pinstripe Bow and the International Bowl?

the suspect was also quoted as saying "*DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING.... DING DING DING*"


(sorry...)

Do you realize you wrote "It's Jim Harbaugh. Guy's Jim Harbaugh" Seems redundant.

"Warming in the Royal pen after homosexual."

I hope the next Reilly piece I read is his suicide note.

I was about to post something snarky about this article (like "How to Get the New iOS 7 and Remove Everything New!"), but then decided that there was enough snarkiness on the Internet. So here's a picture of the baby panda at the National Zoo.

I was once a promising young sportswriter, until I got queasy around the level of hype my newspaper would heap upon teens. Of course this is nothing new, but when you actually get calls from scholarship-hungry, hype-needy parents it reaches a new level in your mind. It hit me when I realized I was helping for more…