All religions in the past, present, and future of human civilization.

All he did was posit a new theory on black hole composition. Only a religious idiot could misconstrue that. So, half of America.

New Yorkers are so keen to blow their own loud horns that they must eliminate all other trumpeters. You're next, zombie Armstrong.

Kansan here. Takes more than 3 inches. Never had school cancelled for less than 6 inches growing up.

I totally read this article in a high minded, condescending, snooty voice. It makes the satire that much better.

Google would literally give away the farm if it meant they could have everybody's private data.

Bwahaha. All a part of my plan. Point for me David, my arch enemy.

I wouldn't be lonely. [saunters off to cry and eat a bag of Cheetos]

They aren't filling the spot yet out of respect for future HOFer Joell Embiid.

ASG's are a fucking sham.

The engineers at Boston Dynamics have to be angry about this.

just another step to completely eliminating the human element from warfare. Not sure I support this. Armed conflict is supposed to be a difficult decision. Removing the risk for your own people makes it easier to justify killing other people.

I hope it gets Ebola.

Did they call and get the proper authorization first? If not, it's just gonna sit in a warehouse somewhere.

The simple solution is to move South to the greatest country in the history of the world.

What I'm really interested is how does financially support himself? Donations? Inheritance? He's a corporeal ghost?

So I'm gonna have to be a computer genius to find love online. Womp womp.

Wrong site. Jesus is over at Gizmodo.

Then he's an idiot for voluntarily giving up his phone.

Most appropriate username I've ever seen. Kudos to you.